


Satisfied

by apogrcpha



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Episode: s03e02 The Sign of Three, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hamilton References, John and Mary's Wedding, Light Angst, M/M, Pre and Post Reichenbach, Sherlock Holmes & John Watson Friendship, Sherlock-centric, Unrequited Love, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-09-27 11:41:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10018943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apogrcpha/pseuds/apogrcpha
Summary: A little ficlet about Sherlock's feeling for John and during the wedding in TSoT, inspired by Satisfied from the musical Hamilton(Listen to it if you never have)





	

“Pray silence for the best man.’’

_A toast to the groom!_

_To the bride!_

_To your union_

_And the hope that you provide_

_May you always…_

_Be satisfied_

Once the Telegrams were finished he started his speech. The room was silent, something that made him actually somewhat uncomfortable right now. He had tried his best to prepare this but there was something that felt slightly different right now, either way he decided to get on with it, better to get it over with than to extent it.

_I remember that night, I just might_

_Regret that night for the rest of my days_

_I remember those soldier boys_

_Tripping over themselves to win our praise_

_I remember that dreamlike candlelight_

_Like a dream that you can’t quite place_

_But Alexander, I’ll never forget the first_

_Time I saw your face_

He never thanked Mike for getting him a flatmate who would eventually become his best friend and it could’ve gone further than that. Despite it being quite a long time ago still the memory was fresher than any other. He limped inside with Mike and of course the fact that he was an army doctor was immediately seen. How he was very surprised at what Sherlock stated but didn’t seem offensive like most people or even annoyed, just very surprised and immediately Sherlock was convinced that John might b as mundane as everyone but there was still something interesting about him.

_I have never been the same_

_Intelligent eyes in a hunger-pang frame_

_And when you said “Hi,” I forgot my dang name_

_Set my heart aflame, ev’ry part aflame_

He always wondered why John stayed, he didn’t treat him any different or special when he met him. He was just as blunt as always and all the things they did in a very short time after their meeting wasn’t someone a normal or regular person would often like. Then again John wasn’t regular, he was someone with a very strong moral code and despite PTSD was able to shoot someone with one of the most steady shots Sherlock had seen in a while, there was something very surprising about John despite that he was able to read him within a second.

_You strike me as a woman who has never been satisfied_

_I’m sure I don’t know what you mean. You forget yourself_

_You’re like me. I’m never satisfied_

_Is that right?_

_I have never been satisfied_

He was surprised how John could deal with all the odd habits Sherlock had, the worst one was definitely how easy he got bored and he was surprised John put up with it, no one ever did but that was also because no one knew how to deal with him being bored and John had an inbox with a billion boring cases awaiting, but they were still cases to keep him busy for a while.

_My name is Angelica Schuyler_

_Alexander Hamilton_

_Where’s your fam’ly from?_

_Unimportant. There’s a million things I haven’t done but_

_Just you wait, just you wait_

Sherlock was unfulfilled, he always wanted to do more, he dared to admit he wanted to show off more. He was never finished, he always had things he wanted to do and did, it seemed like he was running on an endless staircase because there was so much he wanted to do but hadn’t done yet and if he had done a few of them the same amount of new things he wanted to do had been added to the list

_So so so—_

_So this is what it feels like to match wits_

_With someone at your level! What the hell is the catch? It’s_

_The feeling of freedom, of seein’ the light_

_It’s Ben Franklin with a key and a kite! You see it, right?_

Sherlock had to admit he felt something for John he hadn’t felt before, it wasn’t necessarily love at first sight, rather it was the fact that John put up with going around to a crime scene where a dead woman was and even examining her, racing around London to get a cabbie who was the wrong one whilst he had a psychosomatic limb and shooting a man to save someone he had just met a while ago. It definitely set him apart from everyone else.

_The conversation lasted two minutes, maybe three minutes_

_Ev’rything we said in total agreement, it’s_

_A dream and it’s a bit of a dance_

_A bit of a posture, it’s a bit of a stance. He’s a_

_Bit of a flirt, but I’m ‘a give it a chance_

_I asked about his fam’ly, did you see his answer?_

_His hands started fidgeting, he looked askance?_

_He’s penniless, he’s flying by the seat of his pants_

Surprisingly even during invitations to his wedding John hadn’t asked his family to come, at least not to Sherlock’s knowledge. He wondered how bad Harriet her drinking habit must be if he refuses to even invite her to his wedding, he knew that relationships between siblings could be icy, distant and everything alike but he still couldn’t grasp what made John never talk about his family.

_Handsome, boy, does he know it!_

_Peach fuzz, and he can’t even grow it!_

He thought about the moustache John had for a while, it was absolutely ridiculous and he wondered if John himself even liked it as just a day or so after him coming back it was gone already, he was quite happy with that though.

_I wanna take him far away from this place_

_Then I turn and see my sister’s face and she is…_

_Helpless_

_And I know she is…_

_Helpless…_

_And her eyes are just…_

_Helpless…_

_And I realize_

_Three fundamental truths at the exact same time…_

There was only one option, no matter how much he wanted or liked to, he couldn’t tell John. He knew John wouldn’t tell anyone or compromise it but it was better for his safety although surprisingly Sherlock had never dreaded something so much. It wasn’t what he would have to do and what could happen, rather it was the fact that he was almost scared that would happen to John. He had grown to care a surprising amount about him and the thing was that Sherlock understood emotions but ignored his own and he had a feeling John wouldn’t take this too lightly.

_Where are you taking me?_

_I’m about to change your life_

_Then by all means, lead the way_

“You told me once that you weren’t a Hero. There were times where I didn’t think you were human, but let me tell you this. You were the best man, the most human, human being that I have ever known and no one will ever convince me that you told me a lie. I was so alone and I owe you so much. Please, there’s just one more thing. One more miracle. Sherlock, for me. Don’t. Be. Dead. Would you do that? Just for me. Just stop it.’’ All he could do was watch.

_Number one!_

_I’m a girl in a world in which_

_My only job is to marry rich_

_My father has no sons so I’m the one_

_Who has to social climb for one_

_So I’m the oldest and the wittiest and the gossip in_

_New York City is insidious_

_And Alexander is penniless_

_Ha! That doesn’t mean I want him any less_

Sometimes he didn’t understand how he had gotten so attached to John either, he was an ex-army doctor who wasn’t too special, he had an average intelligence, he was able to save lives which was something not too many people could say but that is kind of where it ended, he was horrible at dating. Still Sherlock was somehow attracted to the army-doctor.

_Elizabeth Schuyler. It’s a pleasure to meet you_

_Schuyler?_

_My sister_

He never imagined coming back to John after supposedly being dead would be easy, he imagined John would be filled with rage and anger but what he hadn’t expected that he was trying to propose to someone, it definitely caught him by surprise.

_Number two!_

_He’s after me cuz I’m a Schuyler sister_

_That elevates his status, I’d_

_Have to be naïve to set that aside_

_Maybe that is why I introduce him to Eliza_

_Now that’s his bride_

_Nice going, Angelica, he was right_

_You will never be satisfied_

Sherlock knew John wasn’t the most optimal person he could find, he know that for certain. There were other people he could be friends with who were smarter or any quality and were better than John, despite knowing that he never thought about replacing John but Sherlock also knew he was never satisfied, he always got bored and never had what he wanted because he wasn’t sure what he wanted, he did know John came closer than anyone ever to make him feel satisfied.

_Thank you for all your service_

_If it takes fighting a war for us to meet, it will have been worth it_

_I’ll leave you to it_

Sherlock didn’t believe for a second that Mike didn’t have a phone on him, he literally always had if you sent him a text he would respond in a second and that was so for a few years already, just as he had service but couldn’t be bothered to grab it from the last place he was which was a lab a few floors down. Still, it surprised him to find a military man but that man had proven to be far more interesting than anyone Sherlock had ever met and he had far long forgiven Mike for lying.

_Number three!_

_I know my sister like I know my own mind_

_You will never find anyone as trusting or as kind_

_If I tell her that I love him she’d be silently resigned_

_He’d be mine_

_She would say, “I’m fine”_

_She’d be lying_

He could’ve said no, he was always known for being rude, dismissive of any tradition or things alike. It wouldn’t have surprised John and there were quite a few men he knew that would do it better than he will, Lestrade was definitely one of them, but it wouldn’t be the same and he knew it. He wouldn’t be surprised if John then ended up spending his whole wedding not focusing on the one person he loves but rather on him which wasn’t the point of the wedding. He would say he was fine but Sherlock definitely knew that he wouldn’t be fine.

_But when I fantasize at night_

_It’s Alexander’s eyes_

_As I romanticize what might_

_Have been if I hadn’t sized him_

_Up so quickly_

_At least my dear Eliza’s his wife;_

_At least I keep his eyes in my life…_

All he had to do was say it earlier that was it. He had more than a year to do it but every time there was something holding him back, stopping him from doing it. Sometimes he wondered what the reasons were as it seemed he couldn’t find them now And now, of course, he had agreed to being best man. At least he would always have him in his life.

_To the groom!_

_To the bride!_

_From your sister_

_Who is always by your side_

The room was deadly silent, not a single person dared to whisper it seemed. Sherlock tried his best to simply focus on the piece he was playing but he had to admit John had gotten extraordinarily good in the few weeks they had been practicing. There was a sort of longing between them it seemed, the way they stared at each other, intensely and in each other’s eyes. There were no mistakes in the dance and once it was finished everyone started to applaud them. Sherlock put his violin down and when John glanced around he smiled, which dropped the second after.

_To your union_

_And the hope that you provide_

_May you always_

_Be satisfied_

“Mary, when I say you deserve this man, it is the highest compliment of which I am capable.” Despite all the mixed feelings Sherlock was feeling but didn’t want to acknowledge he didn’t regret the words he had said, it was true that she deserved him and it was the nicest thing he could say about someone, to deserve someone so loyal, somewhat smart and always able to save a life. He had no idea how to compliment someone better.

_And I know_

_She’ll be happy a_

_His bride_

Sherlock stared at the two of them, both smiling and probably talking about the upcoming baby. Everyone had finally started dancing but still most people were watching the newlyweds who were in the centre of the room. He remained there for a few seconds, observing the way they were looking at each other; they both seemed to radiate happiness. He suddenly stopped staring and headed to grab his coat.

_He will never be satisfied_

_I will never be satisfied_

“Have you seen Sherlock?’’ Everyone John had asked so far shook their head and then went on to continue drinking or dancing or whatever they were doing. John was getting rather frustrated, after everything that had happened this day he still hadn’t gotten around to really thank him for everything he’d done in the past years. John had gone through the whole building, only to find Sherlock’s identical coat very much absent.


End file.
